Musings: Being ready is not a prerequisite for matters of the heart.
It’s petrifying. This job of following my heart.
The task of letting go of expectation and outcomes and doing something simply because I feel deeply called to it sends me spiralling into fear.
I wasn’t taught to live like this. Wild, trusting and free. I am a control freak by nature.
The illusion that I have it all within my hands has served me well.
Yet, I am becoming yet again. Dying to my old self, so that something new can be born.
Do I know what this looks like? No, absolutely not. The only thing I know, are the nudges I keep getting to take small actions, small steps that once taken may reveal the next clues of the journey I am on.
The journey of the heart, where there is no map. Oh no, there is no map.
Most of the time I feel maverick. Resistance is rife. My logical mind screams no.
My heart? She’s patient that way. She’s waiting for me to say yes.
I am not ready for this, I argue. Whatever this may be.
I need more time. More money even. I’m not an expert, that’s it, I need more insight.
I think, then I will be ready.
Or maybe not.
Ready doesn’t seem to be a pre-requisite for this journey.
Trust however, does.
Trust that I am not alone. Trust that it’s all okay. And trust in a heart that is truly stirred.
For this is the journey of the stirred heart.
And I believe when the heart is stirred, the mind has no choice but to obey.
Written by Ushmi Dosaja ©