What if you didn't need to criticise your work?

I think I’m judging the very work that will make my vision real in the world. Are you too?

Let me explain.

A few days ago in a community I’m in, I was given the task to chart out the course of my life.

My experiences, my talents, my creations and the things I love. To simply say it was insightful doesn’t do it justice. Word upon word filtered out onto the paper as I detailed all the things, allowing me to see the depth of my life in a way I hadn’t done before.

Yet, two days later as I re-read all that I had written, it dawned on me, I hadn’t mentioned my most proud creation of all.

“Ushmi, you’ve written a book. Why isn’t that there?” I wondered confusedly. 

Lapse of memory? Forgetfulness? Inattention? Perhaps. 

But I sensed there was something deeper here and I wanted to look. So I did.

Realising that somewhere along the road between writing my collection of poetry and putting it out there I’d begun to judge my work.

I did that by making my perceived version of its journey in the world mean something about me. 

I wrapped it in unquestioned stories of it not having reached enough people or being good enough and stuck those stories together with ribbons of comparison and too-muchness.

But I get it, this happens to us as creatives. Because as much as putting our labours of love out into the world is courageous, it’s also deeply vulnerable.

And that vulnerability can sometimes make us forget: although our creations are an extension of us, their journey in the world is not a reflection of our value.

So the next time you’re stuck in judgment and wanting to hide your creations from the world, you might lovingly remind yourself, as I have done many a time, to trust their journey. 

Allowing the intention and energy of why you created them to be more powerful than the smaller stories you may tell otherwise.